I personally love hearing about other moms and their life with their kid(s). So I decided to ask a few of my friends to share some of their experiences. We are all different and have different parenting skills, but we also have a lot in common and to have a mom community makes the world.
My close friend Ahona Firoz is a young beautiful mother of two wonderful boys Zayn who is 3-years-old and Zakariya (or Zak as we like to call him) almost 3-months-old. She is a full-time working mama, who I wanted to ask how she balances the art of mama hood, work life, being a wife, social life and also how to incorporate some self care in the mix of things.
First, how are you mama?
I am good! To be honest, it’s been amazing and extremely hard at the same time. The transition from 1 to 2 kids has been quite the challenge!
What excited you most about motherhood?
The idea of being a mother and loving someone unconditionally as well as helping shape a person’s life was something I always dreamed of doing.
What excited you most about raising two boys?
What excited me about having two boys was the thought of them becoming best friends. I always wanted a sister to play with and talk to about stuff growing up so it’s amazing to watch Zayn love and care for his little brother already. I just can’t wait to see them grow up together.
Did you always know that you wanted to be a mother?
I always knew I wanted to be mother. I’m a big family person so having one of my own was something I always wanted.
Tell us about both of your children’s names?
My son’s names are Zayn and Zakariya (aka “Zak”). We wanted “Z” names for both of them. Zayn means “beauty/grace” and Zakariya means “God has remembered”.
How was your pregnancy both times around?
Very different. I think the first pregnancy was a lot more relaxing. With my second pregnancy it was a whole new ball game since I wasn’t able to rest as much and have “me” time since I had to watch and take care of Zayn.
How was it to grow up as an only child?
When I was really little I would cry to have a sibling. I was always jealous of friends who had lots of brothers and sisters. However, as I grew up, things changed. I was able to make my cousins into my sisters and grow my relationship with my extended family. Because I was so close with my cousins, I didn’t feel lonely.
How would you describe your personal parenting style?
I would lie if I said I was a chill parent. I think I try really hard to be chill but I always get paranoid about the dumbest things and find myself googling and reading forums at 2 AM in the morning (which I know I should not be doing). But overall, I try my best to be an understanding parent and try to learn different things I see working for other parents.
What has been the biggest takeaways from going from 1 to 2?
1) If you think you didn’t have a life with 1, then you have no idea what’s coming…
2) Try to spend time one-on-one time with your older child so that they feel that they still have their mommy. Although Zayn loves Zak, I see that there are times he gets very jealous and angry at us and I try to make sure he knows that he is still loved and that our relationship is still the same if not stronger
3) If your parents offer to help…take it! Especially the first few months when life is hectic, you need as much help as you can get
Do you have any mom icons?
I have so many mom icons. They are all my friends. I know this sounds lame but I feel like all the moms I know are so amazing in their own way. For example, my sister-in-law, Kat, she has 3 kids and does activities with all of them EVERY SINGLE DAY. I mean wow, she is amazing. Seeing her motivates me to be more active and get out of my house, after all, if she can do it with three, I can at least TRY with 2!!!
Any more kids in your future?
Haha I get asked this a lot. I’m not closed to the idea of 3 (not more than that). But I’m also happy with two right now. I think I will have to evaluate where my life is and how I feel about having another child 2-3 years from now.
What advice would you give a woman about to have her first child?
Don’t compare yourself or your child with others. Every parent and child is unique. Don’t get hung up on statistics every time you go to the doctors to visit. You do you. You are the best judge of whats good for you and your child!
How do you make time for yourself?
I am not one to give good advice on this topic. I think that after 10 weeks post partum, I can finally say that I’m attempting to do this. But I think for me it’s making an effort to go out with my girlfriends, being social and also working out. I just started to hit the gym again this week and it has honestly lifted my spirits! I didn’t realize how much of a difference it would be.